Honesty.

I'm afraid today's post is going to be incredibly personal.

I don't really want it to be

But I don't know what else to do.

I am at a point that I'm no longer able to see things objectively

This makes life difficult

because now I can't make decisions.

When I'm only able to see the situation through my own eyes

I am subject to tunnel vision.

This tunnel vision then becomes the scope of everything in my life.

Even tasks that should be extremely or relatively easy

become complicated.

Unnecessarily so.

This is due in large part to the crossroad that I have found myself approaching.

You see

I don't really know how to just...sit.

Or rather, I do know how to sit, I can sit still very well

I don't know how to...how you say...not do anything.

Actually no, that's inaccurate as well

I'm extremely good at not doing anything

I am sufficient at the art of doing nothing.

I do not excel at it.

Although, at times I can be considered extremely lazy

Now is one of those times I suppose

I haven't really done anything constructive lately

And that bothers me.

It always has, and always will.

I can't relax not doing anything constructive. That's just not me.

I can't just take myself to the movies or to a spa, or some kind of "relaxing getaway"

That's just not me.

Not right now.

Don't misunderstand, there's a time and a place for everything.

I do sometimes go to the movies

Sometimes I go to the sauna and just hang out

But you see, I have to earn those privileges

But not by any set of measurable standards.

That's just how I am

I sometimes wonder if that's due to the way I was raised, or perhaps something else

Point being

I don't..."treat" myself often.

Why? Because I'm overindulgent.

I know this, it is a serious character flaw of mine.

When I first went to college, I got a refund check

Which in my head equated to free money for me to do whatever the fuck I wanted.

I wasted it.

I mean that, I seriously wasted it.

Not even on like good clothes or shoes or anything worth showing off

I quite figuratively just blew it.

Some years down the line, I realized that it was not in fact free money at all.

And I'll spend a considerable portion of my adulthood paying that money back.

It was a lesson I needed to learn

I just wish I could've learned it sooner, and with less severe consequences.

The things I took away from that experience

involved some serious introspection.

There aren't many, but in my life exist moments that I consider myself to be

for lack of better phrasing

Dumb as Fuck.

I know this is a thing that everyone deals with.

I've seen enough blogs and comics to relate

like waking up in the middle of the night and realizing that stupid thing you did 10 years ago.

Your brain never lets you really forget, it just stores it away for a later date.

I guess I brought that up because it relates to my current situation.

At the moment I'm both waiting and really not waiting on the next step in my life.

Like, I know its there, and I know it just involves me taking the next step

Yet, I feel like taking that step isn't vital just yet.

I mean, it is vital, and it's totally going to happen

But technically I have like 2 weeks before that happens.

It's these 2 weeks that are bothering me.

Am I making a mistake again?

Is this hesitancy because I am being foolish

or is this time that I'm really supposed to be trying to...relax?

I really don't know.

Recently I spoke with someone about taking personal time

when you feel burned out.

That's a real thing.

I didn't use to think so, I thought it was a serious load of shit.

But

I can actually say I've experienced this for myself.

I've been working in the service industry for at least a decade.

The thing is, I never liked it in the first place

I just continued to do it because it was it seemed like the next logical thing to do.

The same way that going to college is the "natural progression" after high school.

...I didn't do well in college.

Why? I had no motivation.

I didn't understand why I was going

 No one could really give me sufficient reason

other than

"You go to college, get a degree and get a good job"

...what did that actually mean?

I still kind of don't know.

But I wasted a lot of time not really thinking about it either.

I know a lot of people go through that

some of them wind up with a degree or two and no idea where to go next

It's kind of a generational problem.

Eventually I just stopped going

I don't know if it was really a conscious decision or not

but I just flat out stopped going.

My body wouldn't move

My mind wouldn't focus

My heart wasn't in it

My spirit was just dragging

so I went to work

little by little the feeling started coming back

I could move, because I had something to do

I could focus, because I was receiving something for my time

I got into it because I had to. Bills need to be paid

My spirit got involved with spirits (see what I did there?)

(Bartending became a passion of mine)

And yet

I was unfulfilled.

I've been living all these years, but I don't often feel alive.

I know I exist, but I still don't know why.

But I digress.

It's been some time since then.

I finally came to some realizations and the kinds of things I need to do to feel better.

I've found something that I can be proud of, and that I really believe will give me some

...peace of mind.

However, I am hesitant.

I am cautious

I am afraid

I am worried

I am concerned

I feel...not unprepared, not overwhelmed, but perhaps...ill at ease.

A lot of things in my life recently have caused me to question myself once again

What am I doing?

Am I...blowing it again?

I ask this because...

before, I needed...restraint.

This time

I need...space.

I have confined myself within myself over the years

I choose not express myself every single day.

And it's all gotten too confusing.

I no longer know which feelings are fabricated

which ones are real

which ones are there because of logic

or which ones are there because I know all of these things.

I feel a pressure

I feel things weighing me down

and weighing down on me.

And I wish

I really do

that I was making that up.

...but it's a fact.

There are things that are weighing down on me

Things that I can do nothing about

Not without a dramatic shift.

And I don't want that.

I don't want to change things so much.

But things do change, it is the nature of life.

Those changes I don't mind.

The universe doesn't force things, things happen because it's the universe.

I can understand that.

But the changes that come from me as the catalyst

Those are the ones I don't like.

Because I can't explain to anyone

what that actually means.

There's a quotation on my fridge

I didn't put it there.

Only the first sentence stays in my head

"You are not Atlas."

...Yes, yes I am.

Right now, in these moments

I am.

I don't expect to be taken seriously

But in my head, that's what it is.

Sometimes, sometimes I need that though.

Sometimes I need to know the world is hanging on my shoulder

because that motivates me.

But sometimes

sometimes

it's

just

heavy.

it's past my bedtime.

I, for one

am angry.

To be completely fair,

I'm often angry.

There's a lot of energy in anger

and I usually need to get a lot of shit done.

It never seems that way to other people

but I'm not really known for being concerned about other people.

Except when I am.

And therein lies my problem.

I don't care, until I do

But when I do

I really care.

So much that it's annoying

And so much more annoying when it's not beneficial.

I met someone

online

but

I met someone.

I then met that one

in person

but

I just met them.

That meeting turned into another one

and another one after that.

 3.

That's all I got.

3.

However, I was promised many.

So I am angry.

Now, to be completely verbatim,

the words "promise" or "swear to"

were never used

But

Other things were said.

Other commitments were made

Other ideas were flourished out

to become reality.

And yet

3

is all I got.

I am upset.

The thing is

I still don't know why.

It's not been explained to me in a way that I can comprehend

My questions remained unanswered

My mind remains in turmoil.

(Turmoil may be a bit excessive, but I'm writing here)

So I am angry.

But mostly

I am hurt.

Something about it rubs me the wrong way consistently.

And it hurts.

Like walking around all day with a pebble in my shoe.

But I just can't find it.

So it's uncomfortable

annoying

borderline painful

and all i can think about.

It's all I can focus on

But nothing I know how to fix.

All I'm left with is a lot of "why"

So many "why"s

Very few "because"s.

"Let it go"

I hear that a lot.

And, I would

if there were a way to do that without being

...ice cold.

I don't like being ice cold.

I am completely capable of it

I just don't like it.

And yet

I'm starting to feel my hand being forced.

I do not like this.

This does not please me.

I am angry.

I am hurt.

I am saddened.

So much promise

So very much.

Such a world of joy

Such a world of delight

To see this

To touch this

To be in this

And then

To be isolated from it.

I am angry

I am hurt

I am saddened

I am bitter.

My thoughts linger

like bad smells

with no open windows.

They stir

They cause unrest

They make me

feel

like shit.

I am angry

I am hurt

I am saddened

I am bitter

I am not taking this well.

 Stress piles up

Work days get longer

People annoy me

Life gets harder

My body is tired

My mind is exhausted

My spirit

well shit

I don't even know where that is.

I am angry

I am hurt

I am saddened

I am bitter

I am not taking this well

And I'm way too fucking tired to deal with this shit.

Fuck right the fuck off.

Thank you

and goodnight.

....

...

..

.

However,

I'd still love to hear from you.

post title

Nothing profound today
Just letting it ooze out

All this...nonsense.

I am in pain, again.

Another unfortunate accident

Not my fault

but still

I am held liable for some damages

Whatever.

But, my car

is...

well, I don't know what it is right now.

 

But let's get to some of the real things that are bothering me.

 

I am:

Angry

Frustrated

Sad

Depressed?

Unhappy

 

 

I don't mean to complain, it's just...

He's...here

And I feel

Left out?

 

There is nothing I can do right now

can't even provide reliable transportation.

I don't have a job

but I have to pay rent

I don't have a job

but I still have to buy food

for everybody.

I don't have a job

but I have to pay for gas

I don't have a job

but I have to spend money

on things

that we need

Even if no one else realizes that we need them.

 

I don't have a job

and I can't smoke

I don't have a job

and drinking is expensive

I don't have a job

and exercising is painful

because I was in an accident

during an already unfortunate time in my life.

 

seriously, 2 accidents within 5 months of each other.

My injuries aren't going to get better sooner now.

2 accidents

and I can't sleep right

2 accidents

and I don't have a car anymore

2 accidents

and all anyone can say is

"Why didn't you have better insurance?"

2 accidents

and all I hear is

"why don't you have health insurance?"

 

...I don't have a job.

I don't have money.

I don't have my complete range of motion.

 

You know what I have?

Piles and piles of stress.

Piles and piles of errands needing to be done

Piles and piles of shit I can't control

Piles of shit. I. Can't. Control.

Piles of tears just waiting for a weak moment.

 

I'm doing the best I can

It's just not good enough

for anything anymore.

What did I do that was so bad?

What have I done that was so wrong?

 

I'm not guiltless, no. 

But damnit I try to be a better man.

I try to be charitable if I have it

 

Is this because of how I've treated him?

I invited him to share christmas

i let him stay here when it's too cold outside

i try to give them time to spend with each other

what the fuck else can I do?

 

I'm mad

I'm just...

I thought this year would start off different

There was so much promise

but how

how is it supposed to be a better year

starting off like this?

"Dad, I've been in another accident, I don't have enough to repair my car"

silence.

"To my Attorney: hey, any word on my case, or the MRI that I was supposed to have gotten like 2 months ago? Oh, by the way...in a remarkable amount of pain, another accident..."

silence

"I'm sorry sir, you only have 1 treatment session left, please get in touch with your lawyer to see if you can continue treatment"

Seriously?

 

 

What is the nicest way I can tell someone

"Hey listen, I know that you said you are gonna do this or do that, but I don't want to hear about it

don't tell me what you're "gonna" do

just fucking do it

Don't even tell me you're doing it

Just fucking do it

and then let me see it

or tell me when you're all done

because believing that you're "gonna" do anything

is just lying to myself

and I'm tired of lying to myself."

 

I hate trustfall exercises.

 

"I know it's your intention to help

and I appreciate your intention

but words without action

make your intent invalid

and your words untrustworthy. 

Please understand

that I mean no harm

I just want

no confusion"

Accidents

It's overcast and chilly outside, I love days like this

but I hate the way I feel sometimes.

I don't like using the words love and hate because they're really diametrically similar

Which I suppose doesn't make a lot of sense

But they're both notions of extreme passion just with opposite intentions.

But that's neither here or there.

I'm procrastinating. 

We already know that I'm bad at just saying what I want to say

For whatever reason.

First of all, 

I had to come to terms with something last night

while having a couple of drinks with a good friend of  mine

I always enjoy gleaning life advice from his stories.

I'm not over it.

I hesitated on which pronoun to use at the end of that last sentence

I'm not over it, and what it meant to me

or why it meant so much to me to begin with.

It hurt. Still does.

It keeps me from wanting to do anything else sometimes.

Not all the time, I've gotten better since then

But in these moments, when my life feels like it's taking a good thrashing

I find myself stuck in the rut of what -it- was.

I know what's not a good place to stay

But there's only so much I can do to get away from it.

No one wants to hear about it, no one can tell me anything more than what's already been said

Doesn't change much.

But then again, this little excerpt was probably already too much.

But see, you have to understand

It was a highlight in my life.

Doing what I loved, having fun, drinking, being a little but not too reckless.

It was...ideal.

Or the closest thing I'd ever had.

So maybe it's not just that i'm not over it

It's that it was so good it hurt.

And despite my innate technical and mechanical nature

I can't fix that.

I can fix broken pieces

I can re-assemble broken things

But I can't fix something that doesn't exist anymore.

And that, is the saddest truth to me.

So get a new car they say.

Just buy it.

Pardon my contemporary vernacular, but

Nigga, I'm broke.

In more than one sense.

Accidents happen.

i've heard the term "happy accident" before

But I don't really think that's an accident

A happy coincidence? Sure.

A bit of luck? Absolutely.

But happy accident?

Nah dude. Just nah.

I got hit by a car a little over a week ago.

I feel like a shattered window

that someone else broke with a baseball

It's not really going to stop you from doing anything that needs to get done

but it does make a large mess of things

My windows are broken

I'm a little unhinged

In the summer there are too many mosquitos

and it's starting to get cold.

I need my windows fixed

or new ones, I'm not really picky.

I think I understand a bit now.

The difference between a house and a home is the feeling you get when you're there

The spirit of the house

The sense that it's lived in

That certainty that it's there.

I'm a home spirit without external walls.

But I do have windows

And they're busted.

And the cold air is seeping in.

I had a moment today

A moment where everything stopped

And I became super focused on one thing

On just this one thing

And it sucks

because it was a person.

It wasn't a life changing event

I didn't come to some sense of enlightment

No clouds parted to grant me wisdom

I just froze

Time just froze

the air just froze

For a second there was no life

For a second there was no death

...and I hated it.

First the hypothesis, now the experiment, then we'll analyze.

I've decided to do something different

Being honest with myself

I mean being really honest with myself

about this whole world of poly.

it exists, I am a part of it

I embrace it

I embody it.

My actual living will say more than my words ever can.

And what message is that?

What's the message that I want to communicate.

That it can work

it does work

It sucks sometimes, but it's also really useful too.

You don't have to do it, no

But there's nothing wrong with it if it's what works for me.

I haven't reached that stage where i say "oh yes, I love being poly"

Because I haven't had many people to share it with

It's hard to do so when I'm not looking in the right direction.

I'd like to say that's everyone else's fault for encouraging me to be upset

But it's mine.

It's my fault for wanting to feed into it

for actively not trying to understand what I already knew.

I wanted to be dragged kicking and screaming

and that's what I've done

I've been drawing it out

I've been lashing out

I've vocalized my negative opinions more than a dozen times

And yet, here I am.

Accepting it for what it really is has been a tough time in my life

and I've devoted so much energy to fighting it

and there was never even a good reason to do so.

I'm not going to rehash on issues that come up in relationships that everyone knows about

I mean seriously, it doesn't matter if you're married, the boyfriend, girlfriend, mistress, side chick, side dude, "fwb" (i keep telling people this doesn't exist), fling, rentadick, whatever.

Everyone goes through the same shit

And it's always the same things that break down every relationship

no communication.

You have to talk, and trust me, I really hate talking.

But you have to do it

No matter how much you grit your teeth while doing so

it has to be done

I just said I wasn't going to harp on this

so I'm not.

I said all this to say, I'm going away for a week.

Why I planned on being gone a whole week, I really don't know.

Seriously, I feel like that was stupid.

The other two members of this household will be here alone

this time with my blessing

I'm putting my trust in them.

And yes, it's hard

But realistically, I know, or at least have a pretty good idea of what's going to happen while I'm gone.

For me, the worst case scenario is usually involving sex

(which goes into my own issues about insecurity, but that's for another time)

But I already know they have sex.

I don't know when, no. That's not my thing.

I don't really want to participate,

(to be honest, I just don't find her partner attractive, he's always had that older brother vibe to me, it's kinda icky)

But I'm aware of it.

So, y'know

It is what it is.

And so that's been my guideline

I told her I know you guys may or may not have sex, just be safe and clean up after yourselves

Does it bother me that it'll probably be on my couch?

A little, I can't lie about that.

But at least I don't have to be around for it.

(not like that time her drunk friend and her boyfriend stayed over, that was...

...interesting)

Sometimes I don't really feel like driving her to work

For whatever reason

I don't have to

I also don't have to make her take scary public transportation

because he's around too

Most of time, I still like to, and I tell her so

but if i'm just not feeling it, I don't have to be a jerk about it

He's just as willing to. (Supposedly.)

I can't always make sure she gets to where she needs to be on time

Most of the time I do

but I work late nights, it's not always possible

with him around the odds go up way higher.

His schedule isn't the perfect opposite of mine or hers either

We all kinda fumble around sometimes, but we're generally pretty good at that kind of management

Despite that there really isn't enough room 

We really all kind of live together

(it's...not uncomplicated)

I'm looking for a bigger place for us to all live in together

I still need to work out the actual logistics

but those really revolve around one thing

time management.

I don't have a job that requires me to leave for days at a time

neither does he

so we'll need to figure out some kind of plan that works for all of us

Not 100% sure how that'll work, but that's my next step.

But for now, as I said, the experiment.

And what will I do when I come back?

It's 99 degrees, I may be delusional.

And now for an in depth exploration of the song

"Fell in love with a girl"

by the White Stripes.

Why?

I don't know.

The following is complete speculation

and more than likely just a bunch of projection.

First of all, let me start off by saying I think the most common interpretations of the song are a bit off.

I can't say by how much, but after looking at some of the explanations that people came up with

I can't say I really agree.

The first one being that this song is about a lesbian experience.

I disagree based on this fact: Jack White wrote the song.

Last time I checked, he wasn't a lesbian.

He writes a good portion of the music

why would he write about a lesbian experience?

Is it possible that it's really Meg's story?

Possible, but unlikely.

Now to be fair, the song never gives a gender to the narrator, so it -could- be about a lesbian experience of sorts, but I'm pretty sure that's not the focus of the song.

The gender roles in this case are irrelevant.

Just to put it out there, I'll say this

I think it's about a girl, that's a hippie, who's into the whole free-love kinda thing

To be more specific, I think it's about a girl that is at the very least, poly.

"Fell in love with a girl, I fell in love once and almost completely

She's in love with the world, but sometimes these feelings can be so misleading"

I know it's an extremely short song, but it's...perfect in its brevity.

It tells the short but complex story of trying to understand that sort of "share the love" mentality.

And just how confusing it really is

Especially when you find yourself agreeing or at least trying to in spite of yourself.

What I do find interesting is where he says "I fell in love once, and almost completely"

Which implies a variety of things, that I probably shouldn't spend too much time looking into because I'll get sidetracked.

The unnamed narrator of this story realizes s/he has these deep, caring, almost reckless feeling for this girl, but holds back on letting him/herself fall over that "edge"

...this of course implies that there is some form of "edge" as it comes to falling in love with someone.

But again, different topic for a different day.

"She's in love with the world, but sometimes these feelings can be so misleading"

This may not be literal, but broad enough for you to get the gist of it, she loves, freely.

It's not just that she's in love with life, she's actually in love with the world

She loves people/things of all shapes, sizes, colors, circumstance, background, whatever

What free love is supposed to represent.

Love without borders

Loving the world.

But again, more than just loving life, there's the idea that the narrator doesn't actually understand how she can love so many things and people at once.

This is where the idea of her being open or poly really starts to kick in.

"She turns, and said 'Are you alright?'

I said 'I must be fine, my heart's still beating'"

Enough time has elapsed that the narrator is lost in thought, or has been lost in thought for some time

So as she shows concern, the narrator brings it back to the physical plane

I mean, if your heart is still beating, you're still alive, and this has got to be real.

As surreal or as bizarre as it may seem, you're here, in this moment

There are some moments, I find, when someone drops some kind of information on you that really makes you stop and think "is this actually happening?" or more importantly "is this actually happening to me, right now?" 

Often, it's particularly intimate details about themselves, but sometimes it's just something you never really expected to hear, so you try to understand it.

"Come and kiss me by the riverside, yeah. Bobby said it's fine, he don't consider it cheating now"

This..is probably where the lesbian experience explanation comes to light. It's implied that Bobby is her boyfriend and apparently he doesn't mind if she's off making out with someone else by the river or wherever else. Now, because of our societal and cultural upbringing, we've become accustomed to the idea that it's not cheating as long as it's not another male. Two women making out is way more acceptable, and is often seen as a bonus.

Again, while I don't necessarily agree with that specific explanation, I can certainly see where it comes from. 

Alternatively, we could see it as such: Bobby himself is also a hippie of sorts, perhaps even poly

So Bobby's lack of concern isn't attributed to the gender of the narrator, but rather to the relationship that he and The Girl have. It could just be an open-relationship of sorts.

And also, to clarify my point, I turn to the cover of this same song as done by the artist Joss Stone.

In her version, she fell in love with a boy, but the idea is that the boy is pursuing two women at one time. However, in her version she also makes the Boy out to be a bit of a liar, or a cheater, because he's "telling lies on Sarah". Implying that Sarah is actually not okay with that kind of relationship.

(I'd like to note that nowhere in the song does Ms Stone say that she ever spoke to Sarah about it, so Sarah might actually be fine with it, but the Boy gets the shitty end of that stick because culturally speaking, men cheating is extremely common) 

Now, the wording of the verse is a little perplexing. Not that he "doesn't" consider it cheating, but that he "don't" consider it...I think that implies that there's more of a...country dialect going on.

Between going to the riverside and the wording, and the name Bobby as opposed to just Bob or Robert or any variation thereof...the Girl in this song might be a bit of a southern belle, or at least a country gal.

A country girl hippie that's in love with the world.

...or maybe it's just because "doesn't" has too many syllables and would take away from the rhythm of the song.

 Again, merely speculation.

"Red hair with a curl

Mellow roll for the flavor 

and the eyes for peeping"

These are just lines to describe the girl, the detail that goes into admiring someone

Noticing the way someone smiles, laughs, whatever makes them, them.

I sat for a long time trying to figure out what the fuck "Mellow roll for the flavor" meant

So I searched and searched for meanings, but I found nothing until I figured out what I really needed to search for

it's not "Mellow roll" it's "Mello-Roll" a type of ice-cream treat made back in the 50s til the 80s (working theory, can't exactly back that up with many sources)

We typically don't know much about it these days because its long since been discontinued

But it makes sense in the song.

This is a story about a past love experience. A different time, perhaps the 70s or 80s when free love was the revolution and hippies were everywhere.

I think the "eyes for peeping" speaks to the Girl's intellect, or possibly her innocence, or even naivete.

Or maybe all 3. 

...or maybe she just had really pretty, bright eyes.

Again, I feel like this was put here to emphasize the narrator's feelings for the Girl, 

she was beautiful, tasteful, a little whimsical, a bit mischievous, and ultimately just fun.

It's understandable why s/he would come to fall in love with the girl.

"Can't keep away from the girl

the two sides of my brain need to have a meeting"

  Try as s/he might, the narrator just can't pull him/herself away from this Girl because she's too intriguing. The narrator is just too drawn to the girl to walk away from this situation

Logic and Creativity need to have it out, somebody needs to decide how this is supposed to end. Either reason it out why it doesn't make any sense to pursue any further

Or just go with what feels good, embrace it for what it is

Either way, something needs to be concluded

 

"Can't think of anything to do, yeah. My left brain knows that (all?/our?) love is fleeting"

 Stuck. The narrator is stuck. The left hemisphere of the brain, the supposed "logical" side of the brain is telling him/her in whatever way that love and these feelings are just temporal

However, the right side, his/her "creative" side doesn't exactly agree. Torn between feeling like it's a waste of time, and possibly one of the most exhilarating moments in this life, s/he's torn.

Torn between the desire to explore and understand

and the desire to walk away.

"She's just looking for something new, yeah. I said it once before but it bears repeating now"

Again, this line feeds that lesbian experience theory people love to throw on this song

the "something new" being experimentation.

Which is yes, a possible explanation, but again, I doubt it.

I think it's that the girl is living up to her previously mentioned status of being in love with the world.

We're all led to believe that love is a fleeting thing. It's logical. Love is a blend of chemicals that can just as easily disperse as it is put together. Maybe the Girl knows and acknowledges this as well. Instead of letting that stop her, however she chooses to embrace it and find love in the next experience she has. So she goes searching for it, that new love, that new interest that she's bound to run into. After all, you can't love everything if you spend all your time loving just one thing, you have to move about.

But it bears repeating

This to me is the most depressing line in the song

the narrator is constantly sliding between being in love with her

and knowing that s/he may just be a temporary part of this Girl's life.

Because all love is fleeting

this whole experience could be and probably is just a fleeting moment in this Girl's life.

Chances are the narrator wants more from the Girl, something more permanent, but may realize that in doing so she would no longer be the Girl that s/he fell in love with to begin with.

It's a bit of a sad cycle.

For a quick example, and yes, I know this probably has flaws, but the concept is basic

Imagine a beautiful glass on a pedestal.

Now around that glass is a security circle. 

If you cross the line, the glass shatters

The fact that you can't actually get to the glass makes it that much more appealing

and kind of makes you want it even more.

But you also know that by trying to acquire it, you'll lose it forever.

That would suck

I'll say this in conclusion, I'm pretty sure Jack White is a hippie.

Seriously, check the wiki, dude got married by a shaman.

I think it's a story about a young boy experiencing hippie love for the first time and realizing that it's something he can kind of relate to, but it's scary because it doesn't sound like the "American dream" kind of love. Y'know, the one with the picket fence and 2.5 kids and a dog

TL;DR ---> Dude got sprung on a hippie chick, then he realized that he got sprung on a hippie chick.

-----------

Or I could be way off.

Who knows.

Either way

I felt like writing that out.

Now I'm tired

so

Goodnight.