Recently I've taken to writing about sexuality.
Mostly because I consider it a rather large portion of my life.
Not to say that I'm addicted to sex or anything
(Though I might be, I'm not really sure yet.)
I've just always been interested in it.
The thing is
I usually write things from my own experiences
Since I mean, that's the best way to learn something
...I don't know where I thought I was going with that.
I'll be honest here
I'm writing this today because I'm a little bit frustrated.
Sexually, that is.
I mean, I know everyone gets to that point a lot
That doesn't make it any less annoying, trust me.
People always say things like "Oh, I haven't had sex in 3 months"
or the "I've never actually had sex"
So as to make you feel somehow better about the fact
That you're not currently rolling around in another persons sweat.
Say "ew" if you want to
You're probably a virgin.
That was mean, I know
but truthful.
...Never heard a woman complain about sweat if she's getting that good dick.
Yes, I said it
That good dick.
A good hot dicking.
Does that offend you?
Probably not.
It makes me laugh.
If you're not laughing
You're too uptight
And probably need a good hot dicking.
(Dr. Tran can give it to you.)
What does that term mean you ask?
It's really not that hard to figure out
Obviously it involves a dick and someone getting dicked down
Or
Penetrated
Fucked
Sexed
Plowed
Stuffed
...stop me if you've heard any of these before.
Slammed
Rammed
Whammed
Porked
(I still don't know where they came up with that one)
Things like that.
Clearly you can tell by my abrasive language that I really don't give a fuck tonight
There's a reason for that.
See
I have a libido
A fairly strong one at that.
Simply put
A libido
(to me)
is your sex drive.
(i don't care what it actually is, that's what it means to me)
That part of you that feels compelled to "do the deed"
with another...body...substance...thing.
Yes, this is horniness.
As far as I'm concerned, there are different types of horniness
The first is the basic type that most people have
which is usually a compulsion to release your tension through some form of ejaculation.
That one's easy enough to solve
Go get some lotion/lube, a towel and a porn flick
You'll be just fine.
After this, one usually feels a bit less stressed and more able to cope with his/her day.
(Note: this is a daily thing for guys
Some of it is to relieve stress, but most of it is out of sheer boredom)
I can't explain why it is that women don't masturbate as much
They let a lot of that tension build up before they do anything about it.
(...does that somehow make release even better?
Hmm...sounds like a hypothesis)
No, that's not what I suffer from today.
The second is a compulsory desire to be intimate with another person
That's the kind of sex when there's enough tension in the air to cut it with a spoon
Someone needs to get dicked down, quick.
This is less common than the initial libido stab, but still quite common
It grows with silence and slight movements
It can sometimes be unbearable
Mostly because communication between the two bodies is sporadic if existent at all.
One body usually says "Damn, I want that"
And the other body says "Damn I want that"
but they're both so loud they don't hear the other.
Then you slip into "Damn I want that...does that want this?"
Which can be a mistake
or
it can lead to
"Damn I want that...I'm going to have it now."
Then
Wham, bam, thank you ma'am
Hot Dickings all around.
(Fuck you spell check, dickings is word.)
The third is the urge to fulfill a desire of some sort
to live out a fantasy that you probably have had for quite some time
This can include anything from doing it doggy style, to spankings to stockings to licking sour cream off of nipples
Hell, I don't know, I'm not that fucking creative, use your goddamn imagination.
You get the point.
This is a kind of horniness that doesn't really go away
It likes to stick around and fuck with you a lot.
It gets infinitely more frustrating as time goes by.
I mean
It's fucking great if you ever get to fulfill it
but the time you have to wait for it absofuckinglutely ricockulous
It's desires like this that make the people you consider weird or "just downright wrong"
(necrophiliacs, dendrophiliacs, pedophiles, scat-people, etc)
Do what they do.
I'm telling you
That shit doesn't go away.
It sticks to you like...little mexican children selling Chiclets.
(Yea, I said it, I know it's racist
Shit, goto Nogales and see if you don't find out what I mean)
As time progresses and you get a little closer to fulfilling those desires
each let down gets progressively worse and more damaging to your ego
and libido.
Seriously.
I speak so frankly about it because obviously I have a lot to say on the matter
Yes, I do believe that I'm suffering from these issues currently.
I'll let you guess which one.
I'm just saying
Talking about it doesn't make it less annoying
Having other people tell you about their sexual mistakes doesn't make it better.
Annoying is annoying.
So what do you do to not be annoyed?
That, my friends, is the million dollar question.
And don't say "I turn that energy into something positive like exercise"
You're a goddamn liar.
You don't exercise because your horny
You exercise because you want to feel better about yourself.
Fucking liars.
All of you.
Well, not all of you.
But enough of you.
Deceitful, deceitful people.
For shame.
Mostly because I consider it a rather large portion of my life.
Not to say that I'm addicted to sex or anything
(Though I might be, I'm not really sure yet.)
I've just always been interested in it.
The thing is
I usually write things from my own experiences
Since I mean, that's the best way to learn something
...I don't know where I thought I was going with that.
I'll be honest here
I'm writing this today because I'm a little bit frustrated.
Sexually, that is.
I mean, I know everyone gets to that point a lot
That doesn't make it any less annoying, trust me.
People always say things like "Oh, I haven't had sex in 3 months"
or the "I've never actually had sex"
So as to make you feel somehow better about the fact
That you're not currently rolling around in another persons sweat.
Say "ew" if you want to
You're probably a virgin.
That was mean, I know
but truthful.
...Never heard a woman complain about sweat if she's getting that good dick.
Yes, I said it
That good dick.
A good hot dicking.
Does that offend you?
Probably not.
It makes me laugh.
If you're not laughing
You're too uptight
And probably need a good hot dicking.
(Dr. Tran can give it to you.)
What does that term mean you ask?
It's really not that hard to figure out
Obviously it involves a dick and someone getting dicked down
Or
Penetrated
Fucked
Sexed
Plowed
Stuffed
...stop me if you've heard any of these before.
Slammed
Rammed
Whammed
Porked
(I still don't know where they came up with that one)
Things like that.
Clearly you can tell by my abrasive language that I really don't give a fuck tonight
There's a reason for that.
See
I have a libido
A fairly strong one at that.
Simply put
A libido
(to me)
is your sex drive.
(i don't care what it actually is, that's what it means to me)
That part of you that feels compelled to "do the deed"
with another...body...substance...thing.
Yes, this is horniness.
As far as I'm concerned, there are different types of horniness
The first is the basic type that most people have
which is usually a compulsion to release your tension through some form of ejaculation.
That one's easy enough to solve
Go get some lotion/lube, a towel and a porn flick
You'll be just fine.
After this, one usually feels a bit less stressed and more able to cope with his/her day.
(Note: this is a daily thing for guys
Some of it is to relieve stress, but most of it is out of sheer boredom)
I can't explain why it is that women don't masturbate as much
They let a lot of that tension build up before they do anything about it.
(...does that somehow make release even better?
Hmm...sounds like a hypothesis)
No, that's not what I suffer from today.
The second is a compulsory desire to be intimate with another person
That's the kind of sex when there's enough tension in the air to cut it with a spoon
Someone needs to get dicked down, quick.
This is less common than the initial libido stab, but still quite common
It grows with silence and slight movements
It can sometimes be unbearable
Mostly because communication between the two bodies is sporadic if existent at all.
One body usually says "Damn, I want that"
And the other body says "Damn I want that"
but they're both so loud they don't hear the other.
Then you slip into "Damn I want that...does that want this?"
Which can be a mistake
or
it can lead to
"Damn I want that...I'm going to have it now."
Then
Wham, bam, thank you ma'am
Hot Dickings all around.
(Fuck you spell check, dickings is word.)
The third is the urge to fulfill a desire of some sort
to live out a fantasy that you probably have had for quite some time
This can include anything from doing it doggy style, to spankings to stockings to licking sour cream off of nipples
Hell, I don't know, I'm not that fucking creative, use your goddamn imagination.
You get the point.
This is a kind of horniness that doesn't really go away
It likes to stick around and fuck with you a lot.
It gets infinitely more frustrating as time goes by.
I mean
It's fucking great if you ever get to fulfill it
but the time you have to wait for it absofuckinglutely ricockulous
It's desires like this that make the people you consider weird or "just downright wrong"
(necrophiliacs, dendrophiliacs, pedophiles, scat-people, etc)
Do what they do.
I'm telling you
That shit doesn't go away.
It sticks to you like...little mexican children selling Chiclets.
(Yea, I said it, I know it's racist
Shit, goto Nogales and see if you don't find out what I mean)
As time progresses and you get a little closer to fulfilling those desires
each let down gets progressively worse and more damaging to your ego
and libido.
Seriously.
I speak so frankly about it because obviously I have a lot to say on the matter
Yes, I do believe that I'm suffering from these issues currently.
I'll let you guess which one.
I'm just saying
Talking about it doesn't make it less annoying
Having other people tell you about their sexual mistakes doesn't make it better.
Annoying is annoying.
So what do you do to not be annoyed?
That, my friends, is the million dollar question.
And don't say "I turn that energy into something positive like exercise"
You're a goddamn liar.
You don't exercise because your horny
You exercise because you want to feel better about yourself.
Fucking liars.
All of you.
Well, not all of you.
But enough of you.
Deceitful, deceitful people.
For shame.
