never cheap.

So here's the skinny
I recently got a tattoo.

It was a tough decision to make.
I am proud of myself for getting said tattoo
but also still kinda freaking out about it.
I mean, it is a permanent thing.

But, I've begun to realize something.
I heal very quickly.
The tattoo itself is not completely healed yet, as it should not be
But It just served as a fair reminder that I do infact heal rather quickly.

I look at it, on my arm and I am hit with the fact
that I will probably have to get it touched up more frequently than other people.
My body may infact heal it completely at some point if left alone.
That's wild.

I don't know why my body is this way, it's always been that way.
My wounds don't itch, scabs don't itch, and usually i forget that the wound is even there at all.
The only exception to this is the one I have on my knee from when I was about 7ish.
I scraped my knee trying to slide into 1st base
Literally, not like trying to make out with another elementary school student.
I was on a baseball team.
I remember because I had on kneepads.
Look, my mother was extremely overprotective
But apparently these kneepads did nothing.
I remember the feeling on the skin being peeled off and the splotch of blood on the inside of the pad
I remember being both fascinated and disgusted by this
And I was curious to see just how the wound would heal.
Come to think of it, that's the only time I've ever picked at a scab.
Over time it healed up but I couldn't stop messing with the scab.
Eventually I was left with a patch of blotchy skin.
Then something else happened, can't remember what, but it busted the wound right back open
It never healed correctly the 2nd time.


Anyway, somewhere along the timeline I realized that a lot of my healing comes internally.
Some call it faith, some call it spiritual healing, I don't really know or care what it's called
But I understand how it works for me.
My body wants to heal itself, it then tells me the best ways to do it.
Sometimes I don't always agree
Sometimes I pretend that I'm not listening
And when I do it that way, I don't heal as fast.

A very simple example.
I have stomach aches sometimes.
Probably because I ate something I knew I shouldn't
Or sometimes it's stress.
And since I spend so much time thinking of food and how to nourish myself
It makes sense to me that one of the most deeply affected areas would be my stomach.

It's a Chakra I believe.
I don't really know that much about Chakras
Not sure if I want to learn
But I can appreciate what they represent.

Anyway, when I get these stomach upsets
or my chakras are out of line
my generally tells me what I need to set it back in balance.
Sometimes I don't know, that may be because I have not yet experienced the food item
and my body is thus craving something it doesn't yet know.

Sometimes its very predictable.
Generally if I've had a sucky night of drinking (e.g. something involving Jager)
I wake up with some form of a hangover.
This hangover is cured not with a Bloody Mary, not another shot of jager (hair o'th'dog)
not tylenol, not water, not any general remedy.
No no, my body will, and I promise you I'm not lying
require a Meatball Sub from Subway.
Every fucking time.

I know what you're thinking "really, subway? Gross"
To that I say who cares, I like their food.
Something about that very specific combination makes my stomach feel just right.
Yes it's a comfort food, I know.
But comfort goes a long way in healing. A very long way.

Which leads me to this conclusion:

I want to study Tai Chi and Reiki healing.
Both of those.
I feel like the movements of Tai Chi will better help me center myself
And as a lazy Taoist, it would really help me get back to where I need to be.

Reiki is a japanese form of spirit healing.
It breaks down
"Rei" meaning universal, spirit, soul, life.
"Ki" meaning energy.
So, yea.

I would also like to take a look into just traditional massage methods.
Massage therapy and whatnot.

I feel like combined, those 3 would make something epic.
Not sure what
Just something epic.

Also, it just sounds cool.
It sounds mystical.
I like mystical.
Not Mystikal...well, okay, he wasn't too bad either.

Danger!
Get on the floor!

The problem I have with these is that it takes being taught.
It takes time and money.
And I'm like
really?
I gotta get charged to learn how to heal myself?
That's fucked up.
What happened to apprenticeships?


And so the search for what I should be doing continues.