Confoundit

I've been upset quite a bit recently.
For various reasons
And sometimes I write them down here
Annoyances if you will.
Things that irk the living crap out of you.
And it's not that you don't have the discipline to deal with it
Because that's exactly what you're doing
You're just tired of it.

I say "you"
But obviously I'm talking about myself here
You are irrelevant
...right now.
...and most other times

(I kid.)

I know I've made it obvious that we all have to do things in life
things that we like
things that we hate
things we don't give a shit about
things that don't give a shit about us
But things we have to do anyway.
And that's all fine and dandy.
Everyone knows they have to do things
They might not always know why
But they know they have to do things.
...mostly.

But what is it that makes something enjoyable
Or even...doable
...with less fuss?
Annoyance?
Problems?
People?
All of the above?
Yes.

Lets take something...simple
Like paying rent.
(Obviously I have a problem with this, which is why I'm using it as an example)
(Not really clever, I know, but who cares.)

I pay rent
I do.
I'm a dutiful tenant
and I like staying on the goodside of the person that owns the property.
...for the most part.
I don't understand why someone wouldn't pay rent
It seems like more hassle than it's worth really.
I get tired of people knocking on my door for pretty much anything
If they did it everyday? Oh we'd have issues.

I bring this up
Because where I live now
I have a habit of being asked or told that rent is needed
and it needs to be paid.

...well no shit.
cause clearly
I didn't know that.
I wasn't aware that after living in the same place for a year
I'd have to pay money
like I did last month
and the month before that
and the month after this one.

...I mean really
How many times do you have to tell someone something
-If- they've already been doing it.
I can understand repeating things to someone who doesn't ever seem to do
what it is they need to do
but I mean...really.

Now I could just be being petty
I know it's an obligation
that I need to blah blah blah blah
Who gives a shit.
I know what I have to do
Stop.
Just
Stop saying it.
You're annoying.
Just
Stop.
STOP.

Jesus.

This is why I used to throw my phone across the room.
Because of people
and the incessant noise.
Chatter chatter, bitch bitch bitch, cry, moan, whomp whomp.
I don't need it
I don't need to hear it
I don't want to
So stop.

...People talk too damn much.

Now I know
This is a bit...unusual for me
Anger isn't one of my favorite traits
Nor is bitchiness
But
Truth be told
I am an asshole and a good natured person at heart.
Just because
...It suits me.

The moral of todays story
If there is indeed one at all.
Is
...nothing.

I've got nothing
I don't know why people pester people
I don't know why the same things get asked over and over and over again
(until you want to break someone's face)
I've never known
and it's always annoyed the living shit out of me.

...but I'm wrong to ignore people
Which is something I don't understand.
If you don't like something
Or the situation
Or a certain person
You can't control that
What you can control is your reaction.
You don't have to get mad
Or throw chairs
Or curse them out
(although that's admittedly funnier)
You can remove yourself from the situation
Until you've calmed down
Or
until it stops being so...hectic.
But leave too long
And people get offended.

Why?
I don't know.
People are weird.

So
To all of us out there dealing with the same shit
Every fucking day
the nagging, the naysayers, the parents, the bullies
Whatever motherfucker it happens to be
I say
Shut it.
Go away.
Leave me alone.
I'm not dealing with it.
...Not right now, and not that way.
I don't care.

...
wow that was angry.
I don't think it suits me very well
or maybe it does
maybe I spend so much time avoiding anger because I know it so well.
Interesting thoughts.
But I am only human.
I'm still learning to deal with things.

...just on my own time
and my own watch
and in my own way.

...that's all you've got really.
You take what you make of it.
...and that's all I have to say about that.